Forsaking

"See, O LORD , how distressed I am! I am in torment within, and in my heart I am disturbed, for I have been most rebellious. Outside, the sword bereaves; inside, there is only death. "
Lam. 1:20

"Isaiah said this because he saw Jesus' glory and spoke about him. Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God. "
John 12:41-43

"If you love me, you will obey what I command."
John 14:15

"Ah, sinful nation, a people loaded with guilt, a brood of evildoers, children given to corruption! They have forsaken the LORD ; they have spurned the Holy One of Israel and turned their backs on him. "
Isaiah 1:4

"Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place."
Rev. 2:4-5

Abba,
Forgive me of my no-trust, my no-believe, my self-love and my God/Church/Spiritual Family-contempt. I have forsaken time with you, time with your people, time with your church and time in your word. I have sought satisfaction in a sinkhole and have looked for fulfillment in a cesspool. Show your mercy on me again. Make my heart new and clean. I need your Spirit or all life is garbage, please don't withhold it from me. Scrub me hard... take off all the dead skin and leave me fresh beneath... then dip me deep in your waters and purify me... allow it all to soak in. Give me a steadfast Spirit and a new purpose - to Know You and to Make You Known. Separate me from old habits... give me discipline to make a clean break... and let me fill the vacant spots up with you.
Send your people to encourage me and rebuke me if needed. And give me a humble spirit to accept it. Be my source of life, my bete', and let me be wrapped up in you.

I ask these things of you, the only way I can, through Jesus, your son/my savior, who loved me when I hated him and you, and who died to give me life.

Amen